3. Dealing With Mental Stress: What, Why and How

In 2021 I was Deputy Headteacher of a school, dealing with the challenges associated with COVID in the workplace, including managing staff absences. I woke up at 2am the middle of the night convinced I had had a heart attack. I stayed lying in bed, wide awake for the rest of the night. That morning, after having managed staffing for the day, I went to the doctor looking for answers. I explained what had happened. The doctor listened closely and then replied “So you want me to sign you off for stress?”

This was really the moment that put me on the path to where I am now. It turned out that I had had my first, and thankfully to this point only, panic attack. I realised at this point that I had an issue dealing with stress and it was having a serious impact on my health. I was waking up at five in the morning, dealing with absences. Working until 7:00 and ordering an Uber Eats to arrive at my house by the time I had driven home almost every night. My weight was spiralling out of control. I was isolating myself. I was the epitome of poor health.

Before this point, I had always joked about being seasonally fit. From January to August I would train hard and live a relatively healthy life. I knew what to do and enjoyed training. Then from September onwards, work would get busier and busier and my health would suffer.

Since then, I have progressively become more determined to improve my health and how I manage stress, although there have been, and probably will continue to be, speed bumps along the way (hello tonsils being removed).

We feel grumpy, snappy, impulsive or unable to make a decision, removed from life and just generally shit! Mental stress not only impacts our wellbeing, it also impacts our physical health. Not only with my example of eating loads of takeaways, but other ways including raised cortisol levels, impaired sleep, increased inflammation, reduced sex hormone production and disruption to food digestion.

That said, stress isn’t just negative. We need stress to develop and improve. But we need to be able to manage it effectively to prevent it from becoming too much for us to handle.

There are stressors all around us. work, family, finance. Even our physical environment around us can be a massive stressor - If you’ve ever had a renovation or extension built, I’m sure you can agree! My building has been having work done on it for the last nine months and have been surprised by how much of an impact the noise and disruption has had on me!

It is important to develop effective stress management strategies. We have one giant stress container. Stress from every aspect of our lives gradually fills it until we can’t take any more and we lose our shit or have a breakdown. Coping techniques gradually empty the container so we can take of life’s challenges.

People often feel they don’t have time to take care of themselves. However, if they do look after their stress and wellbeing, they will find they are able to take on more. Likewise, we often decide to ‘unwind’ by watching TV for an hour or two. Ten minutes of purposeful stress management will have far more impact on all aspects of life.

Counter Productive Stress Management:

Alcohol - It cab be an enjoyable part of winding down but can disrupt sleep which doesn’t help. Likewise, it can become a crutch, rather than addressing the issue at hand, and the reduced impulse control could lead to more issues.

Avoidance - This is something I can be so guilty of. Ignoring the issue at the time can make you feel better temporarily but the issue will still nag away in the background, causing more stress, and not disappear.

Isolation - Many of us will shut ourselves away from others when stressed or down. Being with others is good for us and isolation will cause more stress.

Productive Stress Management:

Nature - Getting out in nature helps us in so many ways. One benefit is vitamin D, given to us by the sun, is a natural mood enhancer. Another benefit is nature is found to be calming to us. (There are loads of other benefits I could go on all day about but I’m trying to keep this part snappy)

Action - Doing something is important when you feel stressed. Often action will make us feel better and we can do more to improve the situation.

Sharing the issue - This can be done either with another person or in written form. Either way, you are likely to feel better once your concern is shared. Likewise, this process can be enlightening and help you find a solution. I used to shit on journaling and thought it was stupid. But in the last few years I have found it is a tool I turn to when I feel overwhelmed and would probably benefit from doing it more consistently!

Vigorous exercise: When you are panting and sweating, collapsed on the floor, you often don’t really care about anything else in that moment. Exercise is found to be a mood enhancer, even if it doesn’t directly fix the issue.

Stress is a normal part of life. It isn’t always bad but must be controlled! If you are struggling with stress and think it is impacting your health. Get in touch and I would love help.